State of the Union

Whitehouse.org erbjuder en mer sanningsenlig transkription av det årliga, vedervärdigt klargörande spektakel som USA:s president avhåller inför jublande medbrottslingar. Utdrag:

Today our nation lost a beloved, graceful, courageous woman – Coretta Scott King – whose husband's noble dream was shoved down the throats of the Old Confederacy by Democrat turncoats. How appropriate then, that on the very day of her death, Republicans should confirm a new Supreme Court Justice who spent his Princeton days eating lunch behind a clubhouse door that read "NO NIGGERS ALLOWED." (Applause.)

She was a real credit to her race, so let's applaud for the death of this civil rights hero-by-marriage. Because in another decade or so, there won’t be any of these NAACP pains in the poo flume left to drive us up the wall by whining about minor stuff like the small army of feds keeping Trent Lott's hurricane-ravaged mansion well-guarded while Chocolate City turns into Chocolate Death Gumbo – especially since it worked out well for them! (Applause.)

[...]

In a complex and challenging time, the only way to protect our people, the only way to secure the peace, the only way to control our destiny is through leadership. My leadership. Which is why tonight, I implore the rest of the world to look to the United Bush States – but strictly in a "do what I say, not what I do" sort of way. Otherwise, we can and will kill your children.

(Wild, Orgiastic Cheers; Congressional Republicans Do the Wave; Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum Begins to Spasm and Speak in Tongues.)

[...]

Before history is written down in books, it is written on yellow legal pads by glistening fat men in top hats and monocles who chomp on illicit Cuban cigars in the basement of the American Enterprise Institute. And my friends, if the past five years have shown us anything, it's that those boys are on one fuck of a roll!

Thank you, and may Jesus continue to bless Me, His hand-picked ruler of His favorite country.

(Applause. Chants of "USA, USA, USA!")